


Broken promise

by Smaragd_Witch



Series: The Avengers Family [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: All for a shelf, Gen, Peggy has anger issues, Swearing, dark humour, this family needs therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-28 03:02:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17174624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smaragd_Witch/pseuds/Smaragd_Witch
Summary: Tony invites Peter to come live with the rest in the Stark Tower. Wanda thinks he needs training to know what kind of people he'd be living with before he's officialy moved.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: Swearing, dark humour  
> DISCLAIMER: The characters belong to Marvel
> 
> I know this is a sitcom-like fanfic and this would seem out of place and is also very late, but I want to say it:  
> Rest in peace Stan Lee.  
> He wasn't part of my entire childhood, as it was other people's cases, just the few movies of Spider-Man I'd seldom watch; but his characters along with the messages they carry truly helped me in the past years when I needed it the most and were inspiration to keep going. That's what heroes are for and he truly made the grade.  
> For that, I'll always be thankful.

Peter was ecstatic. He had made, unmade and remade his suitcase countless times since he woke up that morning. Or more than since he jumped out of bed at 5 in the morning, unable to fall asleep by any means, with his heart racing at the thought of what was about to happen by next week: he would be living with Tony Stark, in his tower, the tower Stark.

 

            It was unplanned and born from Tony’s part, a very nice surprise for both him and his aunt, May. She’d been hired in a higher position in her new job, the only ‘inconvenience’ being abroad. In a whole different continent, to make the choice more difficult. Peter knew if she agreed he’d have to follow her, she was the only relative he’d left and he was no old enough to go fend for himself. Not that aunt May would’ve left him alone at home, with his record.

 

            One draws a blank once in his life, gets the oven and the washing machine mixed up, puts the eiderdown there and almost sets the whole apartment on fire and you’re not allowed to forget for the rest of your life.

 

            May had decided to invite Tony and his girlfriend to have lunch and explain the situation, knowing how much Peter loved his scholarship and how this could disrupt his labour future. Tony surprised everyone, even Pepper, when he suggested the teenager to move to his house.

 

“Are you serious?” had asked Peter, almost chocking on the food.

“I’ve got like dozens of unused rooms there” had shrugged the inventor. “Just choose the one you like the most, hang your posters or whatever you hang these days and you’re set”

 

            May and Peter had exchanged a perplexed look.

 

“Are you sure you don’t mind, Mr Stark?” insisted May, sounding thankful but also hesitant. She was the protective type. “We don’t want to cause any trouble…”

“Nah, your nephew is the lamest kid I’ve ever known. Maybe he’d do some good to the two useless I’ve got back at home” dismissed Tony, taking a gulp of his glass of wine.

“He means that he’s a very good boy” translated Pepper, with an apologetic smile.

“Didn’t know you have children” commented May, impressed.

“We don’t, _yet_ ” said Tony, casting a glare to his partner that she decided to ignore. “They’re two orphans that had nowhere else to go”

May put a hand on her chest, moved. “Aw, you adopted?”

“No, no, they’re legal but a lost cause. That’s why I want Peter around, see if they learn something of value”

“He’s hard but because he cares” excused Pepper again.

“Well, I…” doubted May, looking at Peter. “You could keep your studies here, as well as everything else” she thought aloud.

“And they’re good people” hurried to say Peter. “I’ve hung around with them a lot, and nothing bad ever happened”

“That’s true…”

“Besides, we’ve got a sergeant and a mommy bear to take care of them, along with our personal motivational speaker. We’ve got it all covered back there” kept convincing Tony.

“What do you think?” asked May. “You’ll be good?”

“Of course, I told you. I’ve been with them before. They’re good people, I promise” nodded Peter. He took her hand and squeezed it, reassuringly. “And I promise to call you every night and tell you about my day”

May smiled up at him. “And all mornings before going to school”

“Sure”

“And in your lunch break”

“Okay”

“And we have to think for a secret word in case someone steals your phone”

Peter laughed. “Aunt May, I don’t think that’s necessary”

“Besides, Natasha could take care of that” shrugged Tony.

May hugged her nephew with all her might. “We have to do a movie night and spend as much time together as possible”

“I wouldn’t be leaving until a few weeks, I think we’ve got enough time”

 

            Pepper and Tony shared a glare and a smile before the relationship those two had. She whispered something in Tony’s ear, to which the inventor shook his head and looked away.

 

            While May washed the dishes, Peter went to bid farewell to the couple. He touched Tony’s arm slightly, to call his attention, before he could walk to his car and he couldn’t have the chance to speak his mind.

 

“Mr Stark, thank you so much for this opportunity” he said, sincerely. “It’s a great favour, and both aunt May and I are deeply thankful”

“Nothing, kid. I’ve already got more than ten leeches living off of me, it’s okay for one more”

Pepper rolled her eyes and took a step forward. “He says those things to everyone because it’s easier than simply say ‘I love you’”

“Pepper, honey, how many times did I have to raise my hand to you since we date?” he asked, calmly, and looking into the nothingness.

“None” she answered, cocking an eyebrow.

“Why do you insist on breaking the record, then?”

“See?”

 

            Peter laughed with her while Tony simply turned around and went to the car.

 

* * *

 

 

“Peter” May called from the living room.

“Yes?”

“I’ve got a call from my office” she explained, stopping in the doorframe of his bedroom. “Do you mind if I…?”

“May, it’s your work, it’s alright” he assured, both hands held up.

“I’ll try to come back soon enough for our movie night” she promised, excited as a little kid.

“Nice. I’ll be waiting”

“Good. Don’t get close to the oven”

“One time!” he complained, in a growl.

 

            May laughing and the door shutting at her backs was all the response he was given.

 

            His phone buzzed in the middle of another check-up of his suitcase. He saw it was Wanda, asking him to come to the tower ASAP. He frowned in worry and looked around the empty house.

 

“It’d be alright if I’m just gone for a few minutes” he decided.

 

            After making sure everything was locked properly, he left the house.

 

* * *

 

 

            Wanda was talking with her brother chillingly by the time Peter landed right outside the balcony of her window. He knocked on the glass, his knits frown in confusion.

 

“Oh, there you are!” celebrated the witch, opening the door and all but pulling him inside. “What happened? Did the government put traffic lights on the buildings just for you or what?”

“I came as fast as I could” Peter defended himself. “And why the hurry? I saw you talking with your brother very relaxingly”

“Peggy bought a shelf and wants Tony to help her with it” explained Wanda, excitingly.

Peter blinked once. Twice. “I’ve came here, bumping into a pigeon an all, just because they’re going to put a shelf on?”

Pietro crossed his arms and titled his head to the side. “Huh, you were right, he’s a novice. Are you sure you want to start him with Peggy? You know the temper she has if pushed too far”

Wanda nodded vigorously. “If he wants to live here, he must be hit with the hardest first”

“What in the world are you talking about?” asked Peter, confused.

“We’re talking about this house and the people that live in here”

“But I know them all already”

“No, no, no, you know the face they show the outside world” explained Wanda, very seriously. “Now that you’re going to live here, you must know what you’re going to face in a every day basis”

“I still think start with Peggy is plainly cruel”

“No, it’s intelligent”

“But Peggy’s super nice”

“See? He needs this. He’s a naïve idiot. They’re gonna eat him alive at his first mistake”

 

            Wanda took Peter’s wrist and pulled him as she walked, ignoring Peter’s sour expression. Pietro followed from behind, not very sure about this.

 

“Do you like horror movies?” he asked, at some point.

“Uh, they’re not my thing, actually”

“… Fuck, you really need this to be ready for the worse”

“Told you!” said Wanda, with a cocky smile.

“You’re scaring me” admitted Peter.

“And the more scared you’re gonna be in a sec. Just wait, and pretend we said nothing” advised Wanda.

“Like I can do that!” complained Peter.

 

            They made their way to the end of the staircase, ending in the living room, where the great majority of the team was. Peter’s attention was drawn immediately to Peggy, who was knelt on the floor, dressed in an overalls, her hair tied in a high ponytail, and surrounded by various pieces of wood painted in white. She was reading some manual when she noticed his presence.

 

“Peter, darling, hello!” she greeted, gifting him with a warm smile. She got up to hug him. “How’re you doing?”

“Fine, thanks, Miss Carter”

“You can call me Peggy, I’ve told you” she said, tapping him on the arm. “Especially now that you’re going to live here”

“Tts, kid” Bucky called him, lying on the couch with a blanket over him. “Do you have a room?”

“Hm… Not yet…”

“But are you going to have it?”

“Em… Mr Stark told me I could choose any of the several he has vacant when I move” he explained, feeling nervous about the way the man squinted his eyes at his explanation.

“Liar son of a bitch” he muttered.

“Language!” Steve screamed from some part of the house.

“Oh, for God’s sake, how does he always hear us?!”

“He surely bugged us” theorized Loki, reading a book on the armchair by the window.

“He thinks bad of everybody” condemned Clint, rolling his eyes, as he leafed through the furniture magazine Peggy had also brought that morning, lazily.

“Because thieves believe everyone’s like them” said Thor, sat on the floor as he watched TV.

Loki looked up from his book with a frown. “Now, I won’t make you dinner”

“But today Steve cooks” whined Thor.

“Should’ve thought it before”

Thor showed a face of repulsion. “And then you don’t understand why I agree with Clint on every bad thing he says about you”

“Thor, help push the sofa out of the way” said Peggy.

The god sighed and got up in resignation. “Everyone abuses my good personality”

“Hey, Peggy, is that going to take you long?” asked Bucky, watching the disorganisation in front of his couch.

“I don’t know. The time it takes Tony and I to do it” she replied, shrugging and pushing the vacant sofa to a corner of the room with Thor’s help.

“Tony…?” repeated the soldier, with a lost look.

“Yes, the owner of the house”

“Ask your boyfriend to buy you more plums” teased Loki, with a smirk.

“Loki, have respect!” reprehended Steve again, from afar.

Bucky moved his head, eyes squinted. “Where the heck is he…?” he muttered, almost scared.

“Hey, stop bugging my boyfriend and his best friend or I’ll put you through that fucking wall” warned Peggy, with the same normal voice one would say ‘good morning’ with.

“Why doesn’t he reprimand her?” asked Bucky, after a moment of silence.

“‘Cause he knows what’s best” a female voice said from behind the couch. Natasha got up from the floor, yawning.

“Natasha, what were you doing sleeping on the floor?” asked Clint, blinking perplexed.

“I had a crazy night watching my marathon of Russian cartoons” she explained, sitting with her back against the couch. “Those subtitles are slightly better than the ones on the Internet” She looked at Peggy, eyes still trying to focus. “Hey, Pegs…”

“Yes, darling?”

“I wouldn’t wait for Tony if I were you” she advised. “I read his texts and today he’s planned to spend the day with Rhodey”

“Why did you read his texts?” asked Clint.

“I read everybody’s” she replied, with a shrug.

“Oh, shit…” muttered Pietro, paling.

“Relax, Sonic, unless it’s something serious, I don’t gossip about it”

“But why do you do that, though?” asked Thor, quite brusquely. “That’s an invasion of privacy”

“This house is worse than a hippie commune; there’s no privacy here”

Peter gulped. “Well, if I wasn’t scared before…”

“Well, what I was saying” continued Natasha, clearing her throat. “Don’t wait for Tony. He’s busy today”

“No, no, that can’t be” Peggy shook her head, with a confident smile. “He promised me he’d help me with this today, because Peter’s moving next week and he wanted to have the house in good conditions”

 

            Peter smiled slightly at the revelation.

 

“I read it” insisted Natasha.

“You might’ve got confused with the dates”

“No. Natasha Romanoff never gets the dates mixed up”

“You don’t sound more important by talking about yourself in third person” condemned Loki.

“And you don’t look cultured by reading your life away instead of having social life”

“Oooh, snap” laughed Thor, gaining an irascible look from his brother.

“Really, Peggy, I’m just warning you because later, we all pay the consequences” kept going Natasha, now resting both elbows on the couch.

“True, I like to eat well in here” nodded Bucky.

Peggy’s face turned red. “Well, enough, alright?” she snapped. “Tony promised me”

“But was he drunk or hangover?” asked Clint, bluntly.

“Please, the kids are in here” said Loki, with a frown.

“The kids must understand the owner of all this is a drunkard, so the day he loses it all and we end in the street won’t take them by surprise”

“Enough with disrespecting a mate” said Peggy, hands on her hips.

“Defining as much” huffed Bucky.

“Enough I said!” She looked at Natasha. “He was sober and very serious when he promised me. He’s my friend and as such, I trust him and his word”

“Your ideals’ funeral, man…” said Natasha, raising both hands in surrender.

 

            The sound of the hairdryer was heard from behind the closed bathroom door along with Tony’s singing voice, exaggerating an emotional tone.

 

“ _'Cause you’re my laaaaaadyyyyy and I am your maaaaaaan_ …”

Bucky groaned from disgust. “He’s been so fucking annoying with that song…”

“We have to put up with it until he gets obsessed with another” said Pietro, with tedium.

Natasha, in the meanwhile, smiled smugly at Peggy, crossing both arms upon her chest. “Told you”

 

            The British woman looked daggers at her and then at the bathroom door. She gritted her teeth, muttering curses under her breath as she walked to the sofa and dropped herself there, folding both arms.

 

            The scandalous sound stopped, sinking the place into complete silence. The door swung open, and they all saw Tony dressed up and with hair brushed. He went to the staircase, where the siblings and Peter were still standing, dancing and singing under his breath. The youngest of the room step aside and let him go upstairs, ignoring everyone.

 

            They looked at Peggy, who had her jaw tensed and chin up, lips slightly quivering from impotence. Her cheeks grew redder as time passed by, and they kept hearing Tony bursting into singing from time to time, voice squawking.

 

            Natasha ran through the living and went directly to the balcony.

 

“What’re you doing?” asked Loki in a whisper.

“We’re gonna have a hullaballoo and I want to record it from the start” she replied, taking a camera from outside.

“Why was that there?”

“I like to know what kind of neighbours we have”

“You’ve got a problem woman”

“Yeah? Tell me that when you wake up in the middle of the night and see one of them burying a suspicious big black bag in their garden”

“And then I’m the one who’s crazy in here…”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Swearing, dark humour  
> DISCLAIMER: The characters belong to Marvel

Tony went down again, flat iron in hand. Peggy curled her lips and clicked her tongue.

 

“Tony” she called, sternly.

The man barely casted a glare in her direction. “Not now, Peggy, I’ve gotta leave soon”

“… … …”

“There we go, there we go, haha!” laughed Natasha, cruelly.

“Tony Stark” she called again, louder and getting on her feet.

“You can hold my hand if you’re too scared. We’ve all been through that” whispered Wanda in Peter’s ear.

“Peggy, man, I’m late already!” complained Tony, stopping in the doorframe and changing his mood in a millisecond

“Late to what?” she inquired.

“What’re you? My mother?” huffed Tony.

“I’m the woman you promised to help”

“Eh?”

“What did we talk about yesterday, Tony?”

“I say so many things in one day, I can’t remember them all…”

“You promised me you’d help me get this shelf done”

“What shelf?”

“The one that’s undone on the floor!” explained Peggy, pointing at the pieces adorning the living room.

“Ah…” was all Tony had to say, as he eyed it with disinterest. “But I didn’t tell you I’d do that today”

“Excuse me?” she shrieked.

“I agreed on meeting with someone else today”

“When?”

“… Today”

“No, when did you agree on that?”

“Uh, a long time ago…”

“No. You talked it out with Rhodey last night” chimed in Natasha.

“After promising me… Nice” commented Peggy, sarcastically.

“What the fuck would you know?!” snapped Tony, upset.

“She reads our texts” revealed Clint.

Tony scrunched up his upper lip. “You’re sick of the head”

“Shameless swine” insulted Peggy.

“Who? Me?”

“Who else?!”

“Natasha, for example. She steals phones and reads private messages. Really, we should think about locking her up” said Tony, naturally.

“Man…” said Loki, eyes wide as if he were insane.

“What? She starts with the phones and before any of us realise, we’ve got the house full of paintings from the Louvre”

“But what’s your deal?  You’re the one who steals money from Steve’s wallet”

“What?!” exclaimed Peggy, clasping a hand over her mouth.

Tony looked nastily at the brunet god. “Snitch from hell…”

“From Asgard” corrected Thor.

“Thor, don’t meddle” advised Clint.

“He’s stupid” insulted his brother.

“If I defend him because I do; if I don’t, because I don’t… He’s never happy…”

Peggy had fallen back on the sofa, legs weak. “How many times have you done that?!” she asked, furious.

“I don’t know, a few times…” shrugged Tony.

“You look for money all nights you go out” kept accusing Loki.

“Rudolph, don’t you have to go sulk in your bedroom as a good traumatized bastard?”

“Don’t take it out on him!” reprehended Peggy. “He’s not the one who’s a thief!”

“Huh, someone needs to update you…” laughed Clint.

“Each day I regret having controlled you a lot less” admitted Loki. Clint gave him the bird as a response.

“Was it you the reason Steve couldn’t pay for our dinner last night, then?!” questioned Peggy, teeth gritted.

“Maybe…” admitted Tony, not meeting her glare.

Peggy gasped. “Oh, no… I’ve made a scene in the middle of the restaurant and didn’t believe him… Now, I’ll have to tell him and he’ll spend the rest of his days reminding me of it all! Do you see what you’ve done?!”

“Don’t tell him anything, then” said Tony, boringly.

“No! Peggy Carter admits her mistakes, she’s honest and straightforward!”

“A pain in the butt, that’s all Peggy Carter is…”

 

            Tony rolled his eyes as Peggy cursed her luck. He turned around and Peggy jumped from the sofa, running to the door.

 

“No! Don’t get in there yet! Wait!” she pleaded, receiving the door shutting in her noses.

“Oh, crap…” muttered Bucky, terrified.

“Did he just…?” wondered Peggy, in shock. Her face contorted in one of pure anger. “Son of a bitch!” she swore, kicking the door opened.

“Gee” said Peter, jumping in spot.

“And she’s just starting…” kept commenting Wanda.

“Peggy, are you insane?!” screamed Tony, frowning as he ironed his hair.

“First and last time you close the door on my noses!” she shouted back.

“This is a bathroom, you must knock before entering!” scolded the inventor, ignoring her words. “What if you caught me with the dick out?”

“Why do you have to be so coarse?!”

“You swore first” pointed out Peter.

“Shush, kid, shush” advised Bucky.

“Close the door, it’s getting cold” ordered Tony, turning to his reflection.

“Of course it does! This room is suffocating!” she exclaimed. “How many times do we have to tell you to put the fan on in front of the door once you’re finished?”

“What for? So the cold air hits me first thing right after the hot shower and I fall ill?”

“If you haven’t fallen ill for going out right after showering, with how cold these nights’ve been, then you never will”

“Always digging up for shit…” muttered Tony, starting to get mad himself.

“Or you can always shower with the door opened. What? Do you get your shame back when it’s shower time?” she mocked.

“I left it closed because your boyfriend’s always pestering me about my shampoo”

“Are you still using that crap that smells like Strawberry?” she asked, now taking her time to inhale the disgusting and strong smell the bathroom had.

“Of course, I bought it for a reason”

“We told you we don’t like that”

“Don’t use it, then. Better for me”

“It’s not about that, Tony. If people don’t like it, you shouldn’t…”

“Well, I’m gonna use what you all want but me!” he interrupted, sharply.

“Yes! This is coexistence, you can’t always have your way!”

“I never got my way!”

“Beg your pardon!?”

“It’s always coexistence for what you want! If I like that shampoo, I have my right to use it!”

“But can’t you see you’re bothering everyone with that fucking odour?!”

“Then put up with it or go live somewhere else! This is _my_ house!” he reminded.

“Oooh, there he goes again…” drawled Peggy, disgusted.

“Go where? Go where?” complained Tony, forgetting his ironing task and facing her completely. “To the truth?!”

“To your superiority complex!”

“That’s you!” exploded Tony. “Look the scene you’re making just for a shelf!”

“No, it’s because you broke a promise!” explained Peggy.

“I never promised you to help you today!”

“What do I do with all this now?!” she asked, pointing at the mess on the floor.

“Put it back in the box, the hell I know…” shrugged the inventor, turning back to the mirror, calm demeanour returning.

“Ah, sure, sure. Let’s put it right inside the box again!” agreed Peggy, ironically. “Let’s put it right inside and then leave it forgotten in one corner, accumulating dust!”

“Oh, for God’s sake…”

“You can’t keep going on like this…” started to reprimand the woman.

“Peggy, we’ll do it later!” he interrupted.

That only made her mood to go worse. “Later? When the hell is later?!”

“Later than now”

“At two in the freaking morning!?”

“I won’t be here at two”

“You won’t… Where will you be, then?” she asked, changing her angry tone for one of incredulity.

“Out”

“Out where?” she asked, brusquely.

“Out of the house” replied Tony, just as bitterly.

“Tony, seriously, you’re starting to reach certain age…” said Peggy, after a deep breath.

“Yes, the certain age when I do and undo as I will without people pestering me” he spat.

“And to understand that when you make a promise, you make a promise” she added, stubbornly.

“Agh, woman, don’t drive me crazy with your bullshit now” he groaned, in exhaustion.

“Excuse me?!”

“Here I was, singing happily and all, and she came to embitter my afternoon”

“Embitter his afternoon, he says…” repeated Peggy, shaking her head in disappointment. “Look, lad, if you wanna get out, you get out. And if you wanna stay, you stay. I don’t care, I’m not your boss”

“Absolutely!” agreed Tony, nodding vigorously.

“But not today” she added, raising her index finger.

Tony threw a dry laugh to the air. “Excuse me, darling?” he asked, mimicking her British accent.

“I said: not today” she repeated, upset.

“Because you say so”

“Not because I say so, because you promised me and you’re dumping me for a meeting you decided at last hour yesterday” explained the woman, calmly.

“But I’ve never told you a date. With Rhodey, I did” excused Tony.

Peggy’s mood changed again drastically. “Well, what the hell do you think? That you can fool me with those stupid defences?”

“They’re not defences, it’s what happened”

“If the rest of the team allows you to be this stirrer, good for them. But you won’t get your way with me” warned Peggy.

“What’re you talking about now?” asked Tony, genuinely confused.

“I’m talking about how you’re always making me this” she complained. “Always dumping me, leaving me all alone…”

“Well, don’t play the victim card now” interrupted Tony, exhaustingly. “For one time I fail…”

“For one time?” echoed Peggy. “You’re always failing everybody!”

“Yeah, sure”

“Yeah, sure! The other day, when Steve had to go to the dentist, and you left him there!” she recalled, venomously.

“Because I was late!”

“Again? What’re you? The White Rabbit of New York?!”

“He told me he’d be out in a few, and I had to spend 15 minutes…”

“Is fifteen minutes too long for your royal arse? What about the two hours I’ve spent outside that pub because you decided to take a few shots and when I went for you, you could barely walk straight?” she recalled.

“Do you always have to throw past shit in the face to make a point?” complained Tony.

“It’s not past shit, it’s reality”

“If you do a favour to somebody, you do the favour” he lectured. “Don’t spend the rest of your days reminding it to prove such the great friend you are”

“I’m not reminding you to do that. My rings don’t fall* for doing a favour to a friend” she proclaimed, proud of herself. “I’m reminding you because you’re very selfish”

“Me, selfish?”

“Yes. Screw Steve, screw Bucky, screw Clint, screw Pietro, screw Peggy. Screw everyone, but when you need the help, you want all of us to hurry to your aid”

“Look, honey, if I were selfish, the bunch of you would be in the streets”

“Ah, who’s throwing things to the face now?”

“I’m not throwing anything, I’m stating the truth”

“Really, man, really…” Peggy shook her head, in disapproval.

“Besides, are you in a hurry to make a simple and sad shelf?”

“Yes, I am. Me and the rest who like to read and educate themselves and would love to have someplace to put their precious things”

“Now you’re gonna call me an uncultured as well? Can’t you prove your points without insulting?”

“I’m gonna remind you you were the one who wanted to buy that shelf, and yet I was the one who went to Ikea and bought it. And the one who’s insisting on doing it as soon as possible…”

“Well, what do you want now?” interrupted Tony, fed up. “You want the money of a shelf not even the Swiss that created it know how to make it? Here…” he said, looking inside his back pocket. He took out his wallet, took a few bills and then threw them in her direction. “Now, leave me be. I’m late”

 

            Peggy, and the rest, watched the bills falling down slowly to the floor. Her eyes wide. As her expression became redder, the rest’s paled. Natasha was the only one who seemed unaltered, and simply giggled under her breath.

 

“Oh, ho ho, he’s gonna get it” she congratulated, almost sadistically.

“Tony…” spoke Peggy, her voice dangerously levelled. “Tony, first and last time you throw me money as if I were a cheap whore, got it?” She turned to the youngest in the rooms. “And you, never imitate his actions or my language”

“No, no, no…” said the twins, while Peter still had his glare glued to the floor, flipping out.

Tony’d rolled his eyes in the meantime. “Bah, woman, go lie down and stop nagging me”

 

            Peggy looked disdainfully at him. Then, she strode in, took the flat iron from his hands and threw it to the floor with all her might, a satisfied smile plastered on her face.

 

“Lol…” was the only thing Peter was able to mutter.

“The beast’s waking up” muttered Wanda, taking a cautious step backward.

Tony blinked a couple of times, processing what just happened. “What the hell’s wrong with you?!”

“That’s what I’d like to know about you” countered the British woman. “I see you a bit cocky lately”

“Cocky? I’m not the one breaking things at the little chance I’ve got!” complained Tony, kneeling down and taking the broken item, as if it were a dead being. “You’ve killed it, now you pay”

Peggy huffed. “Yes, what else?”

“My new flat iron… I hope you’re happy!”

“Pretty much, yeah”

“And all because you’re a spoilt brat!”

“Me? A spoilt brat?” She laughed whole-heartedly. “But are you hearing yourself?”

“All day breaking things, kicking chairs… They laugh at me back at the store for how many times I have to go there!”

“And don’t they laugh at you when you go to buy a weekly new TV or each time you have to call to fix the walls because you punched it because the Wi-Fi was too slow?” she asked, in one breath.

“Those are justifiable causes” retorted Tony, getting on his feet and holding the iron as if it were a baby. “First of all: I can buy whatever the hell I want, it’s my money”

“Alright, but…”

“And second of all” he interrupted, raising his index finger. “If I want to vent punching my walls, I will. At least it’s not because people weren’t doing my will”

“Didn’t you break the cabinet door the other day because Steve didn’t take your side during one argument concerning Bucky?” asked Loki, cocking an eyebrow.

Tony scrunched up his upper lip in distaste. “This is why your father ostracised you in your home”

Loki was fast to match his fury. “And this is why your father never told you he loved you”

“Brother!” gasped Thor, dramatically.

“He started it!”

“Because you were looking for more trouble!”

“He did not” defended Peggy. “He simply reminded us of how much Tony twists reality to seem like a victim when he does exactly the same”

“He was the one twisting reality” said Thor, pointing at his brother. “I remember the fight was because Tony wanted to watch some show, but Bucky wouldn’t get up from the couch and cede the place”

“Thank you, Thor” nodded the inventor.

“Wasn’t he ill?” recalled Clint.

“Yeah” nodded Natasha.

“Besides, the point is the same” argued Loki. “He still broke a thing from the house because he didn’t get his way”

“And if he’d given Bucky his own room, the man would’ve had another place to lie down” added Pietro.

“Yeah, because he wants us to kneel and be grateful for the favourable treatment he only shows to some in here” condemned Peggy.

“I don’t have a favourable treatment” denied Tony, offended.

“The hell you don’t…”

“Whatever” continued Thor. “That has nothing to do with the matter at hand”

“Yes, it does. The man’s complaining about Peggy not being flexible, when he’s worse” contended Loki, calmly.

“Thank you” said the British woman, sincerely.

 

            Peter’s attention moved back to Tony, who was taking advantage of the quarrel between the brothers and Peggy to keep ironing his hair, as much as he could.

 

Thor squinted his eyes at Peggy and then, at his brother. “Here what happens is that when you like somebody, you defend them to death”

“Of course I do” huffed the brunet god. “The strange thing would be if I did not”

“Then, you say I’m spoiled” argued his brother, not minding his words.

Loki clicked his tongue. “And I stand by that. I defend reasonable things; you, the indefensible”

“Yes, that’s why you’re always backing Peggy up”

“It’s not my fault she’s always right”

“Thank you, finally someone who’s normal”

“I bet that’s offensive to even rare people out there” commented Clint, under his breath.

Thor rolled his eyes. “She simply hates me; that’s why you like her that much” he said, with a bit of jealousy hanging in his tone.

Peggy’s eyes widened. “And who told you I hate you?”

“Nobody. You demonstrate it with acts”

“What acts?”

“Always criticising every move I make, always telling me I’m wrong, always not letting me live…”

Peggy’s jaw dropped. “But if I do all those things because I care about you!” she admitted.

“Well, care a little less”

“Let it go, Peggy” interceded Loki. “He won’t get it. He’s been since very little only listening to praises and can’t understand the opposite being also good”

“Traumatized…” insulted Thor.

“Obnoxious” Loki insulted back.

Peggy shrugged. “Well, I can’t be any other way. These are my ways of loving and caring”

“If that’s loving for you, I don’t want to see your ways of hating…” said Thor, bitterly.

“Lad, if I hated you, you’d know. Worry not” she assured, almost as a warning.

“I already do” assured the god, stubbornly.

“Agh, lad, I’m not gonna fight with you, less about this. You’re a square-head” decided Peggy, fed up.

“What did she say about my head??”

“It’s an idiom, relax…” said Loki.

“To hell…” muttered Tony, sighing in defeat at his reflection. The action made the attention of the whole room to be back on him. “I’ll show my right side to people while talking. It’s my good side, anyways” he commented, leaving the iron on the sink and sprinting out of the bathroom.

“Tony…” called Peggy, blinking perplexed when he passed her by without a single look.

“Leave me alone” he cut her off, brusquely.

“… … … Uf…” she huffed, giggling dangerously under her breath.

Tony patted his pockets. “Oh, true. Thor…” He turned in the god’s direction. “Can I borrow your house keys?”

“I was going to go out with Bruce later” he said, taken aback by the petition.

“Where are your keys?” asked Peggy, in suspicion.

“Oh, God…” breathed out Tony, exhausted.

“Tony…”

“Somewhere” he dismissed.

It made the woman’s face to grow red again. “Somewhere? Where is that?!” she screamed.

“Somewhere in the house” answered Tony, not meeting her glare.

“Which part of the house?!”

“My room, probably”

“Then why don’t you go look for them instead of asking for someone else’s?!”

“Because I’m late!”

“Mines are…” wanted to reply Thor, not wishing for another fight between his two friends.

“No!” interrupted Peggy. “Don’t tell him where yours are! Let him look for his own!”

“I’ll look for them later!” promised Tony.

And that made Peggy to snap. “Again with the fucking ‘later’ excuse?! Do you think you can go around the world saying you’ll do everything later?!”

“I’ve been living quite well for forty years, so I guess so!” replied Tony, finally facing her and with a mocking smile.

“Maybe you gave them to Rhodey?” guessed Natasha.

“No, of course not” answered Tony, looking at her as if she were crazy.

“He lost them someplace outdoors and he won’t admit it!” decided Peggy, placing a hand on her forehead.

“No, I did noooot…” drawled Tony, lazily.

“Then where the fuck are they?!”

“Maybe in my pants” shrugged Tony. “Maybe, when Steve was doing the laundry, he…”

“Wait, now it’s Steve’s fault” said Peggy, with a sarcastic smile. “Steve is to blame. Not him. Though he’s forty years old and doesn’t even make his fucking bed”

“That’s irrelevant now”

“Yeah, because it doesn’t play to your advantage”

“I’m just saying that because he did the laundry the other day, and I haven’t seen the keys since”

“Nice…”

“But I cleaned the washing and drying machine and I didn’t see anything there” said Clint.

“Maybe they’re still in my pants… When he takes out the clothes…”

“He already did” said Bucky.

“Nobody asked you” hissed Tony, with hatred.

“It must be on your bed” continued the soldier, ignoring Tony’s disgusted face. “Just as the rest of us’”

“I haven’t seen anything there…”

“How are you going to see it? Your room’s a pigsty” condemned Peggy, arms in ajar. “I’m sure you’ve thrown those clean clothes to the corner of your room, where that mounting of shit is”

“It’s just a little lump”

“Little lump…? That thing is the fucking teenager son of the Everest”

“Whatever…” He looked at Thor. “Your keys, please?”

“Tony, what the hell did I just tell you?!” screamed Peggy.

“It costs me nothing” hurried to say Thor.

“I know you don’t give a damn about anything, but I do!” She looked daggers at the inventor while Thor thinned his lips in rage. “You don’t have keys today and that’s it!”

“Then how the fuck I’m gonna get in?!” shouted back Tony.

“Ring the doorbell!”

“I have to wake everybody up just because you won’t let Thor lend me his keys?!”

“Wake eve… At what hour are you going to come back?!”

“Late!”

“Tony, you can’t keep going like this! You’re forty years old, you need to calm down!”

“So annoying with my fucking age…”

“Because it’s the age you are! You can’t keep thinking you can go out there, partying all weekends and taking pictures to post them on Instagram!”

“Don’t you think I’d know if I’m pushing myself too hard? Do you think I’m an idiot or…?”

“No! But I truly advise you to…”

“Then, you’ll say you don’t make drama if somebody doesn’t do your will” he commented, cruelly.

“… …” Peggy inhaled through her nostrils. “You know what? Do whatever the hell you want. I don’t care”

“Finally!”

“I’ll just inform you I’ll lock that door when it’s past ten”

“Excuse me??”

“After past ten nobody gets out or in the house. That’s it” she explained, now looking at everybody in the room. “And don’t bother in ringing the doorbell, because I won’t give in and open”

Tony took a few steps forward. “Look, _darling_ , I’m gonna go out tonight and I’ll come back at whatever time I fucking want to. And I’ll ring the doorbell until my finger’s tired out” he said, as if it were a threat.

“Thanks for the warning. Now, after you leave, I’ll switch it off” said Peggy, calmly.

“Touch something of my house and I’ll kick you out”

“Kick me out and I’ll sink this whole place down”

“Do it, do it… You’ll rebuild this brick by brick, leech Carter” decided Tony, swinging the front door open.

Peggy knelt on the floor to pick up the things. “Could this be possible… I’ll lock the door when it’s past ten!”

“I won’t be home by ten. Nor by eleven or by twelve” insisted Tony, barely looking over his shoulder. “I’ll come back whenever the fuck I want”

“Then, you’ll sleep in the car, because nobody’s gonna open the door for you”

“I’m sure that’s what you want…” muttered Tony, darkly, but everyone could hear him properly. “For me to disappear from the world, so it’s only you making orders in here without nobody to contradict you, you fucking dictator”

 

            Everyone stiffened in spots at his words, turning their heads to Peggy, who’d frozen. Her hand closed into a tight fist. She got up from a jump and turned on her heels, seething.

 

“YOU’RE A BLOODY TOSSER SON OF A BITCH!” she swore, at the top of her lungs.

“Gee…” whispered Peter.

“NOW, YOU WON’T GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!”

“Watch me” said Tony, cockily.

“Have balls and step out that door!” she challenged, striding to be nose to nose with the man. “Have balls and step out that door! I’ll fucking grab you by those short wrongly brushed hairs of yours! DO IT, COME ON! I’LL DRAG YOUR, YOU NOB!”

 

            There were a series of footsteps from the staircase. The twins and Peter turned around, seeing Steve and Bruce coming down, a puzzled expression on their faces.

 

“There’s always a party in this house…” complained Bruce.

“What’s going on in here??” asked Steve.

“Your girlfriend’s nuts” answered Tony.

“Tony…” began to reprimand Steve.

“Tony promised Peggy to help her with the shelf, but it’s leaving to party with friends” summed up Loki.

“I didn’t promise her it’ll be today!” insisted Tony. “I can help her other day!”

Steve sighed in defeat. “Gosh, Tony, I’m so sick of you and your habit of not fulfilling any promises…”

“Thank you!” exclaimed Peggy, throwing her arms into the air.

“But I think it was more of a confusion than…” tried to talk Bucky.

“Shut the hell up, nobody asked for your opinion” blurted out Tony.

“But if I was defending you!” complained Bucky, surprised. He frowned at the inventor. “Now I won’t defend you! Fuck you, asshole!” he screamed, flipping him off.

“Alright! Enough with the swearing and the insults!” complained Steve.

“It’s him!”

“Oh, yes, I’m the bad guy!” proclaimed Tony, dramatically. “I’m a villain! Tell the neighbours they’re living next door with the worst enemy of humanity!” He took a step out, cupped his mouth and then screamed: “Hey, there, your friend and neighbour Tony Stark is gonna meet up with friends instead of making a shelf! Call the authorities, not even I know what I’m capable of!”

“Tony!” exclaimed Steve, horrified, as the rest – but Peggy – contained their laughter. “Tony!!!”

“This is gold…” said Natasha, biting her bottom lip.

“Tony, are you going insane?!” hissed Steve, positioning himself between his girlfriend and friend.

“Bah!” was the response he was given, along with a gesture of dismiss.

“Look at him! Look at him!” said Peggy, pointing at the man and following him outside.

“Nooo, nooo, don’t go outsiiide!” panicked Steve, standing at the doorframe.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?!” screamed Peggy, when she saw Tony about to open his car.

“Peggy, girl, really…” sighed Tony.

“Where do you think you’re going!” she repeated, insistently.

“Where the fuck I agreed to meet!” answered Tony, matching her voice volume.

“Are you going to drink?!”

“I surely need it after dealing with you, yeah!”

“And you’re going there by car?!”

“No, by flying carpet!” he huffed.

“Don’t come to me with that. This isn’t a joke anymore”

“Ah, all that of before was a joke? Damn hell…”

“I won’t let you do this. Not on my watch!”

“Damn it all, Jesus H. Christ, I think enough is enough…” muttered Tony, in the meantime.

“Not a drop of alcohol if you’re driving!”

“I’ll call a cab on my way back!” shouted Tony, kicking the pavement.

“And the car?”

“The car will be parked until I go back to fetch it!”

“… But what crazy idea is that?!”

“Mine. Just like the car, so mind your own business”

“But how are you going to leave the car alone?!”

“I’ll put a blanket over it, so it doesn’t get cold”

“It’s not about that, you idiot!”

“Hehehe”

“And he laughs… This man has no remedy…” she lamented.

“Nothing will happen, angst with legs!” he assured her, rolling his eyes.

“Tony, they can steal it or something worse. You can’t be so thoughtless!”

“If something happens, I’ll see what to do…”

“We’ll see, you’ll mean” she corrected. “If you truly minded your own business, I wouldn’t care, I wouldn’t get in between. But you are always involving us, calling us when something happens and you’re left in the middle of the road, because you can’t even put gas in your own car”

Tony gritted his teeth in annoyance. “There, there! Keep throwing shit! Keep bathing me with past shit, I’m not dirty enough!”

“Well, it’s true!”

“Keep telling the true back inside, I’m late!”

“Oh, you’re not late when you dig up for shit, but when I start talking…”

“Stop eating my ear off, woman!”

“Don’t talk to me like that, young man, or I’ll slap your head off as if you were a bloody Playmobil!” she screamed.

“Wasn’t I old?” he asked, mockingly.

“Your mind stopped developing at the age of three, from what I’m seeing” she said, rolling her eyes. “More reason to give me your car keys!”

“I won’t give you my car keys!”

“Tony…” She huffed, running out of patience. “Tony, give me the keys or I’ll put you through a fucking wall!”

“We’re outside, there’s no wall here!”

“I’ll build one and put you through it!”

“Enough!” interrupted Steve, walking to be by Peggy’s side. “Stop it you two!”

“But, Steve, he…”

“No!” he interrupted again, more brusquely. “Let it go, Peggy”

“I won’t let it go! He’s a spoiled idiot!” she defended her stubbornness, getting angry at her partner now as well.

“Peggy, get in the house” he ordered, narrowing his eyes.

“I won’t” she replied, under her breath.

“Not even the Sad Man supports you” mocked Tony, with superiority. “Think a little, think”

 

Peggy clicked her tongue and was about to stride to him, but Steve held her in place. The people back in the house looked the ordeal with smiles on their faces and trying to contain their laughter.

 

“Peggy, stop it!” pleaded Steve.

“Tony, come here!” she ordered.

Tony simply went to unlock the car, not minding her at all. “Bye, don’t wait for me awake” he warned, uninterested.

“Tony, I’ll kill you by slaps!” she shouted.

“Come, come, I’ll ran over you”

“Enough you two!” snapped Steve, not letting Peggy’s shoulder go from his grip, but now looking at Tony too. “Tony, please, give her the car keys”

“Ha” she laughed, satisfied.

“Why?!” hollered the inventor.

“Because she’ll feel calmer that way” explained Steve. “C’mon, you’re taking this out of proportion. Give her the car keys. You were going to call a taxi, anyways, didn’t you?”

“I don’t fucking want…”

“And stop the swearing!” he reprimanded.

“She swears too!”

“I’m saying this to her as well!” he revealed, looking at his girlfriend in disapproval. “I’m sure the whole neighbourhood heard you! Do you think that’s nice?”

“I don’t give a damn about the neighbours” she replied, huffing.

“Well, you should!” scolded Steve, matching her ire. “Dang it, what a mess, what a show! Just for a shelf?!”

“He broke the promise, this is not the first time…” tried to excuse Peggy.

“Yes, I understand you! But I don’t think it was necessary to start screaming, kicking things, breaking other things and then swear in a shout all the obscenities in the dictionary!”

“You’ve been so annoying with the neighbours crap, man…” complained Tony, with a face of tedium.

Steve frowned at him. “Tony…”

“Go marry them if you think about them that much”

“It’s not about that, Tony. It’s…”

“Which I don’t understand, when you barely stand any of them” continued the inventor, ignoring his words. “All day badmouthing them, and then his world seems to end if…”

Steve snapped. “YES, BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO BE THE WALKING SHOW TO THOSE SCUMBAAAAAGS!”

 

            They looked at him perplexedly. Even Peggy took a few steps back.

 

“Huh, _who’s_ screaming and swearing now?” said Bruce, rolling his eyes.

“Give her the fucking car keys!” screamed Steve, pointing at his girlfriend.

Tony kicked the lawn with fury. “I’m sick of you all!” he shouted, almost in a childish pout. “Sick of you all!” he repeated, throwing the keys to the ground in bad manners. “I’m gonna look for new friends!”

Steve knelt to take the keys and then passed them to Peggy. “As long as you come back at the agreed hour, I don’t care” he assured, crossing his arms as an exhausted parent.

“Sick of you all!” he repeated again, turning around and sprinting down the road.

“Before ten!” reminded Peggy. “You’re Cinderella tonight!”

“Cinderella had to come back before twelve” corrected Bruce.

“Well, and isn’t twelve after ten or what?”

Natasha ended the video there, with satisfaction. “Now, to the Internet”

“You’re gonna end up in trouble one day” warned Loki.

“Nah, it’s me we’re talking about”

Wanda frowned. “Well, that didn’t escalate as much as I thought it would be”

“Stop scaring people” said Pietro, patting a pale Peter on the back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My rings don't fall: No se me caen los anillos. To not find some task under your dignity.


	3. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Swearing, dark humour  
> DISCLAIMER: The characters belong to Marvel

Tony had to take the bus, nobody getting close to him due to his grim face. He arrived to Rhodey’s house pretty late but decided to not acknowledge the fact if his friend didn’t first, for not worsening his mood. He rang the doorbell and the door was opened in a matter of seconds.

 

“Ah, Tony! I was starting to think you wouldn’t come!” he admitted, greeting his friend with a smile and steeping to the side to let him in.

“Nah, man. It’s just that Peggy started to drive me crazy with…” he stopped mid-sentence, his eyes not processing what was on the floor, waiting for him.

“Did you get her mad again? Really, I’d pay for see one of those stories you tell me in live!” laughed Rhodey. “Well, Sam couldn’t make it, but I’m sure you and I will finish this in no time” he encouraged.

“Rhodey… What’s _this_?” asked Tony, pointing at the pieces scattered on the floor.

“That’s the shelf I talked to you about yesterday” he explained, cocking an eyebrow at his friend’s confusion.

“You didn’t mention a shelf yesterday”

“What’re you saying? Of course I did!” He looked for his phone and then showed the conversation to Tony. “See?”

 

**Rhodes [02:43]: _hey man_**

**Rhodes [02:43]: _one thing_**

**Genius-billionaire-playbanthropist [02:43]: _what_**

**Rhodes [02:44]: _can you hang out tomorrow?_**

**Genius-billionaire-playbanthropist [02:44]: _yeeeeessss I need it!_**

**Rhodes [02:44]: _it’s for making a shelf I bought the other day. Everyone always dump me…_**

**Genius-billionaire-playbanthropist [02:44]: _I’ll get dressed after lunch and we see at your place_**

**Rhodes [02:44]: _thanks man <3_**

****

            Tony looked at the screen, re-reading the text several times. He blinked slowly as he thinned his lips. Rhodey looked at him a bit confusedly by his silence. Then, Tony pretended to read the hour on his bared wrist.

 

“Oh, look at the hour!” he said, hitting himself slightly on the forehead. “I forgot I had to meet with Pepper right now!”

“But if you have no watch there” said Rhodey, narrowing his eyes as Tony walked backward to the front door.

“That’s why we’re going to meet up. I promised her I’d go buy myself a watch. You can’t break a promise, Rhodey” he made up, as he opened the door blindly and stepped out.

“Eh… But…” he stuttered, lost.

“Well, bye, see you other day”

“But what about this??” he asked, pointing at the pieces on the floor.

“Yeah, have fun with that. Bye, bye” he closed the door rapidly and sighed in relief. “Fuck, by a hair… Stupid Rhodey, how many times I’ve told him to put me all in one text instead of sending one thousand…” he grumbled. He took his phone out and looked at the hour. “About to be six…” He thought for a moment and then shrugged, as he started walking. “Well, let’s go to the pub, it’s always three in the morning somewhere”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sursum corda!  
> (And happy Christmas and New Year!)


End file.
